Tuesday 19 November 2019
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.theguardian - 10 days ago

A letter to… my stillborn daughter

‘The sadness of leaving the hospital empty-handed is indescribable’: the letter you always wanted to writeIt felt like a normal delivery. I didn’t expect it to, but it did. The pain of labour was immediately buffered by that overwhelming and total love that sweeps in the moment a mother holds her baby. The power of that feeling is a one-off – there is nothing to compare it to. But it was the joyful stupor, the sense of celebration, that took me by surprise. I didn’t expect to feel joy.Before I could finish wondering why I hadn’t cried, a shadow slipped over me as I said you looked too perfect to have suffered death in my womb. And then reality, absent until that point, entered. Your life’s cry would never come. I knew this before I delivered you. But to feel this was entirely different. Continue reading...

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